Working Mum's Diary

Saturday 5 April 2007

Well we are nearly at the end of the Easter holidays, which seem to have gone on for ever and my other half is now in the process of cleaning the house to get rid of sticky finger marks, dirty footprints and half-eaten Easter eggs that are just way too tempting within eyeshot. We have managed to juggle the kids with the wonderful flexibility that both of us have of being able to work from home. What would we have done without computers and the internet. I do all my shopping, book holidays, write this stuff and work on the internet. How would I fill my days otherwise. I might have to actually venture into supermarkets again with two kids in tow, one who decides to sit down when she cannot be bothered. All the stress of kids demanding chocolate and the latest DVD are over with the touch of a few buttons and my existing favourite items list.

What are we going to be like in ten or even five years? There may come a point where all the shops go online. That is rather a scary thought, especially when I think of giving up on the coffee shops that accompany most shopping centres. However, in the meantime, it serves us well and enables us to do all sorts of things we could never have done before like spending more time with the kids. It has been great setting my alarm at 5:30 so I can get some work done before they wake up! Anyway back to normality next week with a return to school. Boy who would be a teacher on that first day back with kids who have been cooped up at home without all their friends? Me I will return to the relative peace of the office and a chance to grab a really nice coffee without having the risk of flying Barbies aimed at your cup.

Thursday 4 October 2007

Well it is October already and I don't know about you but this weather is just knocking me out. I don't know whether to wear my scarf or my new slinky little top. Even my little girl is running around with a runny nose and a T-shirt. I can't decide whether to cover her up or cool her down. No doubt I will be wrong on either account depending upon which health professional you talk to.

It does raise the issue, however, what do we do for the best. We work to provide a stable income to house and clothe our kids, even though my kids would probably prefer me to stay at home and knit them some clothes. On the other hand, just watching television bombards you with constant 'I want that, I want that, I want that!' Do they ever know when to stop? Once they get what they have wanted for ages, they move on to something else. You just have to read one book about Horrid Henry to find that out.

But kids can give you a great inspiration for selling techniques for your own business. How often do we or more often than not, lovely Nanny or Grandad give in? They are born to sell to you, these pesky little creatures. They just have to either: go on and on until you give up or; think of perfectly valid reasons why they need those new trainers.

My seven year old son did the most elaborate business plan recently for having a new computer game, Worms. He put together three of his old games, told his Dad they could both appreciate the product (win:win) and then even predicted when the best time for purchase would be and how the additional funds could be found from future pocket money cash flows. What a brilliant mind. Perhaps we all need to ask our kids about future business planning and it may even be cheaper than a business consultant!

Sunday 16 September 2007

Yesterday was my good friend's 40th birthday party and although she had a surprise party planned for the evening we decided to take her out for the afternoon for two reasons: we thought she would enjoy it and in addition she would be out of the way so that her husband could do finishing touches.

We took her to the launch of a new ethical clothing line - Ethika, which has been launched by an amazing woman using the skills of women, desperately in need of food, water and a meaning of life in Pakistan.

As my 40th is fast approaching, going to an event like this and listening to the plight of so many women struggling to raise their children with the prospect of being raped continuously in a climate where single women are just not respected, made us all feel so happy with our lots.

Not only were the clothes lovely but the whole event was a nice mix of charity but also women inspiring each other by what they have done. More events like this would be amazing and hopefully we will have more and more going on this website in the future.

In the meantime, I will have a look at my wrinkles now that the make over I had yesterday has been removed and have one final moment to say Happy 40th Birthday Paula!

Tuesday 28 August 2007

We have just come back from holiday and for the first time left our two kids down in Dorset with Nanny and Grandad. Do you know what? I am really missing my two little darlings. I keep getting text message pictures of them playing on the beach and arm in arm with each other. My little daughter told me she missed me on the phone last night for the first time. It brought a tear to my eye. I then watched 'Honey we are killing the kids' with the most adorable Dad and his brood of seven who lost their mother. So much for getting up to wild parties with the kids away, I was in tears all night.

But then this morning, when we woke up to the sound of the alarm and not 'Mommy', being repeated ever so slightly louder each time and with ever increasing pitch, it was actually quite nice. I managed to have a peaceful breakfast without having to sort out petty squabbles and was seated at the computer by 8:30 doing this. Sometimes it is nice to have a bit of peace....until the next text arrives or I switch on the TV to see a loving family all cradled together. Better get loads of tissues ready!

Friday 10 August 2007

What a beautiful day. The sun really has got his hat on and it is so nice to see all the kids out in the park where they should be this summer. Unfortunately for me, who doesn't drink enough, water that is! I do tend to suffer from the odd headache and as I waited outside the bloodbank it was pounding. Should I tell them or would I feel guilty for missing out on giving blood, could it be psycological? Anyway I decided to come clean and tell them that I had a headache that my tables had not cleared and the nurse told me to go away and drink water. In other words, 'stop wasting our time, you weakling'.

What I failed to tell her was that my headache had been the result of half a lager the night before. I did not know whether to be ashamed for having an alcohol-induced brainache or to be ashamed that I am so pathetic at drinking. As I crossed the road to go back to the office, I kept thinking, 'what if I was to get run over now if everybody was like me there would be no blood?' Those nuns really did do the guilt thing well!

However, it was the thought that counts, I contented myself with and it was amazing just how that relief lifted my headache. By two hours later I was right as rain so there you go, going to the bloodbank really is good for you.

Wednesday 11 July 2007

I have just watched Anthea Turner's Perfect Housewife and automatically felt two emotions. 1. My house is not as bad as theirs. 2. I really must tidy up, which I did. But why? Nobody was coming round, but it does make you feel a little more organised and comfy in your own home when all the cushions are on the chairs after the kids have made bridges with them and the pyjamas are back on the kids after being picked up from the living room where they were left this morning before going off to work. Now all I need is some fresh flowers, perfectly put out for me to sneeze all night!

Tuesday 3 July 2007

Well it is now 11:11, the same time of the day, my dear daughter was born and I always remember having a boy and then having a girl and feeling really blessed. A pidgeon pair, I believe this is known as, or so my polish neighbour once told me.

Now Sophie is having another baby at the age of 42. I am fastly approaching this sort of age, well let's call it 'slightly older than 20' for now, and I am actually quite glad I had my PP, (new text speak for Pidgeon Pair - boy is that going to get some use!), before the age of 40. I have to say, most days I am cream crackered and the thought of being even older with a three year, actually brings shivers down my spine.

She is up at 6 am and her mouth does not close for the whole day until she finally sidles in to bed in the evening, aftter I have read her 'The Little Mermaid' again and again Mummy. No I am afraid, my family is complete. I was a lucky one!

The papers have led us to believe that Sophie has been trying for a long time and therefore she must be excited to think that Louise will have a brother/sister soon. Having said that, do you think it is easier to be 42 and have plenty of help than 24 and doing it all yourself? I do not know, answers on a postcard please.

Saturday 30 June 2007

Well, the times they are a-changing as Mr Dylan once said and I am such an old fogey that this is still the only casette I ever play in the car, when I am not listening to Radio 2. I really must start getting down with the youth.

Anyway, I am intrigued by Monsieur Brown, our new PM. How is he going to change this country of ours. His credentials are good in my opinion. Lowly background, good moral stance, intelligent, hard-working. The trouble is, I think he expects everybody else to be the same. Will we have to stop watching Big Brother and watch more intellectual programmes or spend our entire time time doing charity work?

Will any excess money we have be taxed off us?

It is quite worrying or perhaps he will engender a nice sense of moral well-being in us all, stop wars and take money from the rich and give to the poor.

Whatever happens, let's face it, America's Got Talent will still get higher ratings than his political broadcasts.

Monday 30 April 2007

I had a great day at work today but I went in with the feeling that somebody would eventually find out that I am not as good as may be perceived or the impression that I had given. It reminded me of a conversation that I had a few years ago with an HR Director with one of the firms I was dealing with at the time. She said her brother who was a high flying professional at one of the FTSE 100 companies confessed to her that every day he went to work feeling that somebody would find him out.

I too suffer from this, 'somebody will find me out' syndrome and always have done, which is why I am continually the type of person to keep my options open. When I did my O'Levels (yes I am that old), I applied to both technical college and sixth form college just in case my grades were not good enough. When I did my A'Levels, I applied to polytechnic and university just in case. I even looked into getting a job, just in case things got really bad and I had to actually work, heaven forbid!

I had a job lined up after university as well as a place at Teacher Training College. Now here things did go bad and the job rejected me when I got a third. Perhaps this is where inferiority complexes start or are we born with them? I was the second child, i.e. just in case the first one did not survive I was back up but then how on Earth would a third or fourth child feel?

Or is this how everybody feels when they go to work? I am trying to teach my 6 year old son that making mistakes is no big deal. He currently takes it very personally. I have tried the 'We all make mistakes son' but deep down I take every mistake as personally as he does. Is this genetic or have I passed on my fear of failure to my son? One thing is sure if nobody ever made mistakes some of the best things would never have happened. Antibiotics were discovered when somebody left something to go mouldy. Is this therefore one of the human strengths - the ability to make mistakes? Of course this is all very philosophical and I make no apologies for this or I may do depending on how you take it, or failing that I might not publish it. You know what I said about keeping options open. Sorry too late. Oh well, mistakes happen, sometimes we just have to live with it.

Saturday 28 April 2007

Well my friends persuaded (that is what I say anyway) to go to a place that I would not normally have dreamed of going to - Tricky Dickys in Birmingham. Now for those of you who are not aware of this place. I just want to update you. If you are planning a hen party, divorce party or just a girl's night out, go! It is the most amazing evening you will have.

Let's get down to basics here. It is the first male lapdancing club in Britain, right here in Brum see this. I was filled with trepidation, the thought of men dangling their bits in front of my face was not something I was looking forward to but what a night. The men were not great lookers by any stretch of the imagine so please men send your partners and they really will appreciate you afterwards. However there were drag queens, the second one with an amazing voice, semi-naked gladitors firebreathing and the women were having such a great crack you could not help but go with it.

The great thing was my dear husband paid for me to go. I don't know whether he was expecting something in return, wanted me out of the house so he could watch the cricket or really wanted me to enjoy myself. Probably something of all three but I am now signing up for lifetime membership and my 40th birthday is going to be celebrated in style this year! Well done Brum for allowing it.

Thursday 26 April 2007

All good plans and all that. Well, as I mentioned in my diary yesterday, I had big plans for today and what happened my dear husband waited outside one office for me and I waited outside another for an hour before we finally managed to get in touch as my phone was debt.

When we finally met up, words were exchanged but we managed to get hom. I caught 30 minutes at the Art Exhibition, just enough time for a well-earned glass of wine and then got home much earlier than planned.

Perhaps fate stepped in just to slow me down after my messages yesterday. Perhaps someone up there really is looking out for me. Mind you it certainly is not my dear husband after his day with our youngest throwing orange juice all round Sainsburys and then waiting in the wrong place for an hour. Oh well, I got to have my glass and we are almost still talking.

Wednesday 25 April 2007

It has been very difficult, in terms of time management, this week and therefore I have had little time to summarise what has happened. In fact, it has been so busy that I have actually forgotten what has been going on. I do not know if other people find this, but when your feet have not touched the ground for a few days and you are so busy trying to keep up mentally with the pace of things living life that you actually end up missing it.

I have had christenings, relatives, manic work days, beaver parades and ticket sales, meetings that have been really important but have not given me the time to do other vital things that gets the job done. To cap it all, tomorrow, I leave a meeting at five and in the space of 45 minutes have to take dear husband to pick up his car, pick up son from friend's house, get him into his beaver outit, get him to said beavers, crawl to the leader about the fact that I have actually double-booked myself for the evening and am also due at 5:45 to start preparations for the Parents Association art gallery.

There comes a point when you think. Has the World gone mad? Did my parents ever double book themselves like this? Why have I never learnt to say no? (Well that one is a bit of a lie as my dear husband could probably think of a few occasions when I used the two letter word.)

To be perfectly honest I could just curl up tomorrow night with a drink .. or two.

Thursday 19 April 2007

The weather has been so great today that I took the kids for a picnic after work in the park. It really was like being in Spain and the kids were totally confused as to what season it was. However, when we got home, our winter heating bill was waiting for us on the door mat. £283 for gas for the quarter. It really was a bit of a shocker especially for me dear husband who is responsible for these bills. I pay the mortgage, much easier as we are on a long-term fixed rate.

Anyway his favourite programme was on tonight, the 'Hairy Bikers'. Not because he loves cooking, far from it. He believes it is the funniest cookery programme ever and rather like 'Big Cook Little Cook' for adults. This was followed by 'It isn't easy being green'. Now this is much more my programme than his. He cannot understand why I sort the rubbish into all the various bins that we have but then Bromsgrove Council have won awards for all our hard work! However, one thing has really caught his attention about this programme.

Not the beards, although I have to say his shaving every morning is reducing in regularity. No, it is the fact that according to the green programme, you can buy a solar-powered system for £1000. With the bill in his hand, he set out on a mission to explore the possibilities online. A few flicks at the Arctic Monkeys website, a bit of Wolves and then he finally settled on a few eco-websites. 'There you go' he said, proudly showing me what he had found. 'That will keep you busy tonight while I am at the Pub'.

Charming, I do all the work and he gets all the glory. Isn't that just so typical. Of course he knows that my curiosity would get the better of me so here I am at at 10 pm, looking for wind turbines and solar powered heating. Meanwhile he is providing his own central heating in the form of guiness. Pity he will be left out in the cold tonight. It was warm today but I don't think he will find the car quite as comfy.

Saturday 14 April 2007

I have just finished watching the latest reality TV show which is 'I cannot remember the exact name but it is the one that is finding Joseph' you know what I mean, I hope! For those of you that are too intellectual to watch reality TV, it is a talent show that is looking for the next young man (although one 35, almost as old as me so not really young) who will play Joseph in the West End. Graham Norton is doing his normal and John Barrymore is being his cohort in the judges. What I found facinating is there was such passion from all of the young men and incidentally they all sang very well.

However, I did feel rather sorry for their bosses that they left behind. One said his job was 'sole destroying'. Now I am sure that is a slight exaggeration but the strange thing is that they interviewed his boss afterwards. Now let me ask you the question. You take the time to give a young man a job, train him up and pay his wages, (it was a small company). How would you feel if your treasured employee said the job you gave them, probably an integral part of your Company, was sole destroying? Quite frankly I would not have been picking up the phone to vote for him after that.

Surely all kids view their job as sole destroying because they are landed with the fear that this is it. Work is what lies ahead until you retire and for an eighteen year old that might as well be in space, as age 65 seems so far away. I felt the same after a few weeks and I worked for my mother. Think how she would have felt after she had given me a chance to pay off my debts, for me to say that. No, this is a lesson, kids, sorry to be a patronising old Granny, the West End may await or ... you may be back doing data processing so give the boss a break. You may be needing a reference in a few weeks, months, years. Boy do I feel old now!

Tuesday 11 April 2007

My Dear Husband had a day with the kids today while I dragged myself into work for the day. Now I love my kids but it is actually quite nice to get into work without having to clear up after breakfast, make beds and prise the kids away from Playhouse Disney in time for school, childminders and the like. No this morning I just needed to get me ready and leave the shell-shocked house to the other half who I was sure would cope admirably with the state of cleanliness that I left behind and that would gradually develop over the next few hours. This was particularly the case when I looked at the sad remainder of the Easter eggs piled up just waiting for my two year old to grap, force open and scatter the remains over our cream living room carpet. Now you think I had laid everything out deliberately to cause my better half problems but no that was the way it had been left the night before when we both crept exhausted into bed.

Surely the house should be in tip top condition you all cry, afterall you hardly seem to be at work if this diary is anything to go by. The rest of your working hours could be spent merrily painting with the kids, wiping their beautiful faces and then dusting and sweeping when they are happily tucked up in bed at 7 pm. If you are saying this you are one of the supremely organised moms that I sometimes meet at the school gate. They are a rare breed, who have their bedtime ritual down to a tee. Not me I am afraid but it is surely this creative bliss that my dear husband loves. The house is a mess and the kids are lucky to hit the sack by 8:30 but we muddle on and I am still waiting for that domestic bliss to hit me. Any day now would be great!

Saturday 7 April 2007

Well tomorrow is Easter Sunday and in this house we are likely to be gauging ourselves silly on chocolate and food full stop. In many ways I actually prefer Easter to Christmas. At Christmas there is always the likelihood that you may not like one of the pressies that is given to you and then you face the stress of deciding whether or not to come clean and the associated guilt that goes with this.

At Easter every pressie is welcome because it usually involves some form of chocolate which unless you are diabetic or seriously allergic to chocolate goes down well with most people. The other thing I like about Easter is that it is truly a quietly assuming christian feast. Coca Cola did not produce a million selling Easter bunny and therefore it is not a big holiday all over the World but is what it is a time to be glad that you are lucky enough to have chocolate. It is much more like a hindu or moslem feast. With Lent in the few weeks before Easter Sunday, it is a levelling time where generally people do without or give to others in greater need. At this time in the history of humanity what a wonderful thing to do.

Sorry this is a deep and meaning one but it is the way I am feeling tonight as I put out the Easter eggs for the kids. Let's hope some big conglomerate does not make Easter into the Christmas of the future! It is wonderful just the way it is.

Friday 30 March 2007

Fridays are always a hard day. I started work at 7 as I was absolutely snowed under and had a pretty bulging to do list. Yes I am that organised and if I do not have a to do list I simply cannot cope. This is something I was taught on a secretarial course in 1990 that will always remain with me. I never became a secretary but the typing and to do list were worth another year of not earning.

Anyway my to do list included all my work, of which I had three days worth stored up as the childminder had been on holiday so I had been with my dear daughter and not a lot gets done then, a bottle of wine for night in with the girls, birthday card for niece and another fancy dress for my son's beavers night.

How many fancy dress costumes could a child need? The week before he had been a dragon (pretty hard for a mom to make! but survived), he had also had odd hair day and this week he wanted to be Doctor Who. That was pretty easy for me, the thought of recreating David Tennant is not difficult to imagine and certainly more enjoyable than looking at pictures of dragons.

On top of all this, I had a swimming lesson with kids, visit to friend in the afternoon, hubby going away and sister coming down in the morning so needed to get niece's pressie wrapped. Eventually I got home at 7:30 and started to relax with friends. It was a busy end to the week but I could truly relax knowing the week was over and my to do list had a few more items crossed off. Now you see why I use it. Without it there would be no physical evidence to show what I had done.

Monday 26 March 2007

Oh the summers here and the weather is fine and Mom is going to do the gardening. I got back from work to find that the two children have gone down to Nanny and Grandad's caravan for the evening, the sun is shining and I have just been to the garden centre to get an apple tree, a blueberry bush, a gape vine and some seeds along with some massive planters.

We are not going to have to buy any fruit for the rest of the summer now. We will be having a wonderful thriving garden full of wonderful edible plants. My dear husband will come home and his mouth will drop. 'Not again' he will think. I have been through this self-sufficiency phase before in our old house. We had tomato plants coming out of our ears and ended up with about four tomatoes. However, this time it will be different. I am really going to take care of my plants. Well for this week anyway while the sun is shining. I will keep you informed of my bounteous harvest in the coming months. Far better than Aldi anyway!

Thursday 22 March 2007

I had an early start today for a breakfast seminar at an accountancy firm. How exciting you must all be thinking! Look I work in finance and am naturally fairly interested in spreadsheets and figures. I know what you may be thinking but then do remember that it takes all sorts.

However as it was the day after the budget, pensions had taken a little step back and the 2007 Budget was up for discussions at most of the tables near the bacon sarnies. Now I have worked out that as a part-time working mom I am marginally worse off in terms of income tax. Now this is not fun particularly for a financial person and my regard for the future PM was fairly low until I read that nursery education will be extended to 15 hours a week. Joy I thought, half an hour less to pay the childminder. No such luck as I read into the finer details - it starts over the next three years when my dear daughter is likely to be at school. Dash, another benefit lost. However I very much look forward to spending my extra £1 a week child benefit. Boy are we going to go on a splurge!

Monday 19 March 2007

I have just had the minutes from a recent parents association meeting that I missed and the secretary added the below comment to the email.

'Hi all,

how guilty have I felt about not getting these notes out to you? So guilty that I'm now doing it on Mother's Day!!

Apologies for the delay - no excuse but when I meet my maker (later rather than sooner I hope) I'm going to tell him about the obvious flaw in his plans. Giving us moms just 24 hours in a day was a crazy idea - everyone knows we need at least 34 hours if we're going to fit sleep in too. Sorry to all you men on the committee but 24 hours is more than enough for what you guys do so there's the proof that God is male and you blokes all stick together ;-)

Have a good weekend - what's left of it'

Whilst I do apologise if there are any juggling fathers around who are currently reading this diary but it did make me laugh. I was up until 11:45 on Saturday night ironing so that I did not have to do any on Mother's Day as we had a busy day ahead visiting both mothers and trying to fit my breakfast in bed and pressies from the children. My dear husband came down and said 'why don't you just go to bed?' Now in male speak that is perfectly alright as it is a fact; if you are tired you go to bed. However, what he failed to realise was that it had to be done at sometime so doing it late on Saturday night meant I had Sunday free. What he should have said if he had been thinking like a woman was 'Leave that darling, I'll finish it off for you in the morning'. Those few words could have made all the difference. Oh well! I did stay in bed long enough to have my tea and my lovely home-made pressies from the kids. Far better than a shop-bought pressie and well worth staying up the night before for.

Sunday 18 March 2007

Happy Mother's Day to you all. I hope your partners and children are making a big fuss of you all. If not, enjoy a moment's peace at some point today.

Sunday 11 March 2007

We have had a quiet weekend as the kids have been in the custody of my parents for a couple of days so we had major plans for decorating the house, tidying everything up. But what happened, we went on an Irish night. I have not had a drink since New Year's Eve and I decided to try some guiness. Big mistake. That meant Saturday written off. One of the reasons I do not drink is down to the fact that I can have a hangover on half a lager.

What a waste of a weekend and tomorrow we are back at work after a weekend with so much promise. Oh well perhaps next weekend, we can take it in turns to take the kids out.

Tuesday 6 March 2007

It is my day with daughter on a Tuesday and we tend to socialise with all the other Mums who are available on a Tuesday. When you work your days off tend to be more hectic than the days you are working. My dear husband cannot understand this. When I first started working flexibly, he expected my day off to appear in his eyes as this.

Get a lie in
Take the eldest to school
Clean the house from top to bottom
Do all the ironing
Cook a nice meal
Have a relax
Be calm and sociable when Dear Husband returns from work.

This is how my day normally happens.

Get up at the same time as a toddler's body clock does not change because I have the day off
Be quite relaxed at breakfast time which means the school run becomes a manic effort to get my son to school on time
Wash up
Have mad dash round the house with a cloth
Put a bit of washing on
Change TV channel/video many times while doing this to keep toddler happy and serve snacks
Clear up the mess she has made
Make lunch
Clear up the mess this has made
Meet up with friends - time for a coffee
Help clear up the mess the kids have made
Mad last minute dash to the school for son
Make the dinner
Clear up the mess this has made
Grab a tea after getting the kids into bed, go on the internet/watch telly
Even more tired by the evening than on a work day and a little bit nervous about what may have happened in my absence.

Having made it sound horrendous, I would not be without my Tuesdays. In my dear husbands eyes, I honestly do not believe he cannot see the benefit but then he gets out more and one day I may just have a slap up meal ready for him and a supremely clean house. That will certainly make him suspicious.

Monday 5 March 2007

One of the joys of parenting is knowing that rules that you put in place and try and enforce so thoroughly are so easily betrayed by two words 'your parents'. There is no doubt that when you are a parent yourself, your own parents can be extremely helpful. They love your children as much as you do, normally that is. They will almost always still see you as their child and look after you when you are feeling low. A report on the news today by Scottish Widows even instilled the knowledge that they will offer you financial support. My parents do all of these although when approaching the age of 40, I am reluctant to ask my parents for a financial handout having recognised all the money they spent on raising us, helping pay for weddings and homes etc. No they have been spot on and I could not be without them.

I only have one minor criticism which will no doubt make me hated by grandparents all over the country and that is the fact that rules set by parents are meant to be broken by grandparents. Just as in our teenage years we fought against a curfew or moaned when our parents would not buy us that fabulous pair of leg warmers that we really needed, so grandparents feel that little rules set by parents for their children are just being petty! 'Sweets, oh they are out now dear, have a handful', 'oh so she punched her older brother in the goolies and then stepped on his throat, don't shout at her, come here give Nanny/Grandad* (delete where appropriate) a hug', 'Oh let him have the bottle, he is only six'.

Yes I am afraid all over the World these long-suffering grandparents are finally getting their own back. 'You stopped out all night in 1984 so that is four extra treats for your kids that will send them into a hyper just in time for you to pick them up'. They might be an older generation but I am sure there is a little bit of thinking 'your turn to suffer now'.

Anyway, so why am I writing about this today. Today my lovely potty-trained little girl of yesterday has spent one day with her grandparents and is now happy to stay in nappies again and cannot be bothered to use the potty. That will pay me back for the Spear of Destiny concert when I disowned my parents in 1982!

Wednesday 28 February 2007

I am afraid the novelty of just having one car is beginning to wear off. We left home this morning, dear husband, me and two kids at 7:15 with various drop off points all round.

From September things are going to get worse as my two children are going to be at different schools. This will be a logistical nightmare but fortunately it should only last for one year. How do people manage with loads of kids?

However, I have to say that there is one benefit, the morning routine in our house is super efficient. I am trying to make it more efficient by the day. Clothes ready in the evening, lunches ready in the evening. Dishwasher emptied and ready for breakfast stuff to go straight in. Last night I topped myself (not in the gruesome way) by having the bowls out ready for cereal and I even had my ready brek sachet in my bowl. Gosh I could not believe it. I do not get any sleep but at least we are out in the morning. However, please do not look at me in September, we may be out but the bags under my eyes will be so full, my eyes will practically be closed!

Monday 26 February 2007

As usual I have just been going through my emails which tend to mount up on a daily basis. I would like to say that this is because I am so busy and so important that I have to clear 100 emails before I have my coffee in the morning. Alac this is not the case. I have all these emails because I keep getting sent junk mail. Usually I just clear my junk mail having a quick cursory look first before deleting the whole folder. I was recently invited to go on Amercian Idol: given a £400,000 loan: had countless job offers from the Hiring Manager and offered some debt counselling.

However there is one organisation that really intrigues me as follows:

Bonjour,

La réunion générale de mercredi 28 février à 11 heures est annulée.

Des réunions « par thème » la remplaceront.

Pouvez-vous noter les dates suivantes :

There is a whole load of other French phrases to this email but I will not copy you all in on the grounds that many of you may not actually understand them and therefore it is filling up space for no reason. However what I would like to understand is whether I have been given an all expenses paid ticket to attend a conference in Paris where the organisation is. If so this is the kind of spam I like not the 'my husband has recently left me £1 million that I would like to give to you to look after' rubbish. No this would be great.

I have tried to email the lady concerned in my best French to tell her that she has the wrong person but I keep getting more. What is a girl to do? If I try and ring dear husband will moan about the phone bill but it does give me an amazing amount of curiosity that means I do not have to consider doing any work. Pondering is far more exciting. If only all spam messages could provide me with a spark of interest. If I have another money offer, I shall scream. I have already accumulated prizes by email of well in excess of £500,000 so I will have no need for that loan. If only life was so simple!

Friday 23 February 2007

I had a really busy day today so did not manage to leave work as early as possible and therefore had to go straight to the childminders which meant our house is still a complete tip. I was hoping to make a quick whistle stop tour with a cleaning cloth in my hand but no luck. We might get to do it over the weekend.

Our neighbours moved house yesterday, a couple who had their children young so they are now downsizing and their house was just spotless, absolutely. It is so embarassing when they come round to ours. I just hope other working parents have the same problem and it is not just us being lazy. I read a report recently that most working parents now call getting home 'housecoming' instead of 'homecoming' because their houses are awash when they return with pyjamas, unmade beds and unwashed breakfast things. Yes I know the feeling.

We should have a new mat made on our doorstep with 'Welcome House'.

Thursday 22 February 2007

We have worked incredibly hard over the last few years at work but with the costs of the mortgage and childcare it would appear to be very little returns. We are still just as badly off as we were six years ago if not worse. Faced with financial issues every day, we both keep saying 'when the little one is at school'.

However, two things really made me reconsider this. One was Harry going off to war (Prince Harry that is not Harry and his bucketful of dinosaurs) and the other was ER. A strange link you might think but please bear with me - all will become clear as an actuary would say only to make things more blurred than before!

I thought about Harry first of all growing up and then risking his life. How would I feel if that was my son? I personally always thought I would play dead if it came to war, cowardice is no shame I have always believed and maybe my friends would agree. However here is a young man that cannot wait to go or so we are led to believe by the media. This goes beyond my own understanding. Is this the only thing that will make him feel normal and valued? He has been so ivory towered and protected since birth that this maybe what he feels he needs to do. Again I personally cannot understand this but then getting through the week sucessfully with clean clothes makes me feel valued at the moment.

I then watched ER to see two young homeless children inventing a world to get them through the day. Their lives are spent getting out of the rain and finding shelter and the only thing that gave them hope was to dream. How incredibly sad you might thing but they had adjusted and were used to this. They could not imagine anything else.

In many ways reality for the children in ER and Prince Harry and hope are so vastly different but they all still have some form of dream and normality for them.

So maybe we have scraped through financially over the last few years but in the meantime we are raising two young children and we hope to help mold their dreams. This in itself is a form of success and if we can make their dreams be realistic and not involve living in shelters or risking getting killed at war, in my book so much the better.

Wednesday 21 February 2007

I had my communication style analysed today. It was possible to be an activist, yellow exciting, vibrant; red - Pragmatist, forceful leader; green - reflector - sensitive thoughtfull individual and do you know what I was? Blue, boring, theorist who talks slowly always says 'I'll get back to you' and can never answer a straight question quickly. The scary thing is that everybody knew I was blue straight away and even my husband when I got home said I was definitely not a vibrant individual. How touching!

Maybe this goes to explain why I always failed as a teacher. Children need an exciting, forceful or even thoughtful teacher, not a wise owl who can only spout theories. I am therefore in the perfect job, the financial world is the only one that can cope with me.

Buy maybe a I could change to become more outgoing. I always find it a bit cringy when people talk about their emotions but maybe I could start saying things like 'I love you' or maybe not. My 6 year-old is the same. You ask him how he enjoyed his day and he answers with 'I'll tell you later'. But is it conditioning or the way we are born?

'Child of our Time' is back on telly next week so guess what? I will get back to you!

Tuesday 20 February 2007 - Pancake Day

Yes it is one of those days when the kids expect miracles. They expect their mum to be able to knock up a perfect pancake including the scary flip. Now I have been trying to cook pancakes for the last 30 years and each time I try they normally taste OK but look as if they are the result of a road traffic accident. With a bit of lemon and plenty of sugar all kind of rolled up they are not too bad.

My son waits patiently every year for his perfect pancake. This year he came rushing down from his nintendo to see what wonders Mum had produced. He had a few mouthfulls and very politely turned to me and said, 'I think I have had enough sugar now, it is not good for the health', pushed his fork away and proceded to leave the table. Since when has he been concerned with his health. If it was up to him Macca Ds would have opened up in our kitchen. My daughter was just disappointed because she only heard the word 'cake' and could not equate this with the lump of stuff on her plate so then asked for her fourth banana of the day.

All that effort. I even managed to flip one, greatly unappreciated except by me. What was I to do? As I write my stomach is now bursting after finishing off my own and two children's pancakes. I have never managed to give up anything for lent before but the way I feel right now pancakes are definitely off the agenda.

Monday 19 February 2007

I was reading the sad reports over the weekend that our children are the worst off in the developed world. I was actually quite annoyed really to read a report by a male correspondent in the local paper blaiming women going back to work. I am sorry but how often has this been thrown up as a reason for poor childhoods. (Read the attached link http://pubs.socialistreviewindex.org.uk/sr206/orr.htm to make you feel better as a working mother)

He barely mentioned that there may be other reasons such as overtesting at school, miserable weather, breakdown of families - all sorts of reasons. How unhappy would you be if you were tested to the hilt from the age of 7 (6 in some cases)? Anyway I do not intend to blow up an argument about whether women should work or not. This is an endless discussion. However, I would point out that this whole issue has upset me and once again I have over-analysed it to the point of concern.

I picked my son up from the childminders today and he told me that nobody had played with him and he had to walk around the playground on his own. Now just how did that make me feel? I am a cruel mother, leaving my children with the childminding industry as criticised in this report.

It then emerged later in the evening, as I began to worry that my son would grow up a loner and begin taking drugs at 13, that the reason no one wanted to play with him was that he would only play 'Primeval'. How many children watch that? My husband and I then began to feel guilty - not because we are cruel working parents striving to provide our children with a decent standard of living but forgetting their emotional well-being - no we feel guilty because we have transposed our love of SciFi on to our 6 year old son. We are making him into a boy whose interests revolve around Doctor Who, Dinosaurs and time Anomolies. We should be ashamed of ourselves!

Friday 16 February 2007

I went back to work today with my car. It was nice to be able to leave at 7.50 and get to work for just past 8 but I have really missed my walks today. I came home and tidied up so did have a little bit of exercise there but I feel a slouch already after only one day. I will walk everywhere tomorrow and am going to see the Chinese New Year celebrations in Birmingham on Sunday so can get my exercise over the weekend.

Interestingly as I contemplated grabbing a choccy after putting the kids to bed I started watching the Tonight programme. Basically it was about the difference between the French lifestyle and our own in the UK. Now I thought I was fairly good in that I cook a proper meal every day and always have three meals, but a three course meal. It is a damn good job I have a dishwasher. I shall be having a look through my cookery books in a while. My kids are very good eaters and will try anything - just the hubby who needs persuading. My own idea of fast food when we are in a hurry is pesto spaghetti, a favourite on swimming nights. However, they still do not eat anywhere near as much veg. My daughter could eat fruit till it was coming out of her ears and we normally suffer from the other end.

Now that I am back with a car though I am determined not to go back to driving everywhere and to live more of the continental lifestyle that was forced upon us. If only someone would pay for me to go on an exchange to Paris. That would really cement the deal. Any media people out there, I am available for Paris or Milan or even Madrid. Anywhere with good tomatoes! For further details I can be contacted on .......

Thursday 15 February 2007

This morning I did something I had never done before. I entered a competition on the local radio to win some CDs. I even set my alarm, I was so positive I was right. The DJs started asking me about my family's planned trip to London for the day. 'You can leave your kids at the Tower' the DJ joked. I, nerves kicking in,stupidly said I would leave my two year old. I should have said something really witty but it just came out and that comment kept haunting me all day.

My comment left the DJs speechless. They must think I was a really cruel mother who did not like my two year old, I kept thinking over and over all day. Anyway I also got the question wrong. Therefore not only did I set the alarm early and make a fool of myself with people thinking I was a child deserter but I am now worried that my daughter will one day throw that comment back on me. Could this effect our bonding in those crucial teenage years.

She is now sitting on my lap, drawing on my arm and has really been a perfect angel today even when the coach that we were travelling on broke down. The woman next to us even commented on how well behaved she was. Oh guilt, guilt! When will we ever as mothers stop feeling it? She was dragged all round the Natural History Museum all day, there and back on the coach and giggled and smiled, never moaned once. Of course I could never leave her but what when I am old and infirm and she, being my only daughter is charged with my care. Will she be tempted to say she would leave me at the Tower? Blimey, I had better start making up with her fast.

Wednesday 14 February 2007

I have just finished watching the Brits and slagging off Liam Gallagher's bad singing when I remembered that today is Valentines Day. I should be having a nice romantic meal with my life partner but instead am checking my emails and making sandwiches for tomorrow. Having said that I do have a cheeky motherly crush on Mark Owen so there was a little spark to the evening.

Green parenting has gone out of the window after my bus failed to turn up to pick up me, two kids and lots of Aldi shopping bags. How insulting and how cheep! Green parents obviously shop online which is what I normally do but the shop was right next to the bus stop. Very little in the way of Fairtrade though. Anyway my faith in humanity had a nice little moment today. As I was trying to sort out where the blasted bus was (that only runs every two hours), I pursued the only available bus driver to ask him if he knew where it was. 'But your bus does not come to the bus stop - too much hassle for the driver so he drives by' Great I faced a long walk up a major hill. Sensing a woman about to cry in his presence the only available bus driver said some magical words, 'I will give you a lift up the hill if you like'. Fantastic and boy did it help. Now if only the bus drivers who race into Birmingham could get a tip from the driver who drives around the back waters of Worcestershire, life would be worth living.

After that everyone seemed to open doors for me - surely I was slightly lacking in sex appeal with dripping hair and squealing kids. Or perhaps it could be that I am getting old and they are treating me as a granny. Afterall I do know all the words to Wonderwall and I am booking my tickets for the Police reunion gig. Say no more, if this is what old age does - bring it on!

Tuesday 13th February 2007

Well this being a green parent lark is really not all it was cracked up to be. I did put the bin out this morning and quite chuffed to see that the wheely bin was only slightly overloaded. However, this public transport is hard. I had arranged to meet my friend at the Lickey Hills with the kids to enjoy one of my days off being constructive. The country park is about 15 minutes away in the car. By train we left at 8 am went into Birmingham and back out again. Arrived at the Lickey Hills at 10 am and both the trains were on time. Just think how hard that would be day in day out. Anyway my friend dropped us home after boyo said 'Oh no, not the train back.'

Then decided to cycle with kids to another friends house, about 10 minutes if that by car, one and a half hours later and boyo's bike not working and with no nappes (had left them at home but no way going back to get them), toddler asleep on the back of my bike we arrive but somehow we had to get home. Obviously no buses unless we wanted to go out of the town and back in again. I cycled home in the rain down a really scarey country lane, and the children followed safely in her husband's car. Boyo collapsed into bed exhausted and the toddler who slept so soundly on her long bike ride - still up and ready to try out patience.

No wonder people never worked in previous years when couples only had one car. How would they ever have fitted it on with public transport and sorting out schools and childminders, if they could find one?

No despite all the blurb about unecessary car journeys, a car really does save time so is very difficult to beat unless you live somewhere with good public transport. Anyway just off to research which buses I need to get to the dentists tomorrow and back again. This could be fun!

Monday 12th February 2007

Had a great weekend. Got snowed in on Friday night but managed to prise the car out on Saturday to take boyo to football and then took the kids to Sainsbury's for lunch. Last of the big spenders! It was packed. I think people believed we would be snowed in for good. Decided not to do any shopping because of the queues. Sunday was my Aunt's 50th birthday so we were going out for a meal. The snow had melted and we were now faced with flash floods. Dear husband decided to take a short cut, drove to where the river had flooded but too late, the car stopped in the middle with a clunk. Fabulous! I had to call on my parents to help us out and we enjoyed a lovely meal while dear husband waited for the AA. Poor thing!

So this left us with only one car until the insurance company sort out our other one. I decided to try public transport. I had to go to work today but kids were safely with their grandparents as it was the school holidays. Dear husband dropped me there, me still in a bit of a mood about the car, but anyway got there OK, had a good day at work and then saw the bus driving away from the bus stop as I left. I had a quandry, I could wait for the next bus in one and a half hours or try to walk home. 'Let's walk' I thought. With the possible road charging coming in, I wanted to see how we would survive with only one car. It was a lovely walk home through the country and managed the journey in just over an hour.

Could I give up my car or buy a little cheap one to keep in the garage for emergencies. Without the kids I could cycle to work in about 45 minutes but would it be so easy with the kids in tow, boyo beside me and daughter on the back. I do not know but am willing to give it a try now. We are without car tomorrow and I have the day off to take the kids to the Lickey Hills to meet a friend. Have planned our train journey. The kids will be excited at first, although a drop of rain and the day could be washed out. What an adventure for me, the kids will be really upset but it will do them good. Could I be becoming a green parent? I have the book so we shall see. The labourites would be proud.